Things my Father Taught Me

(This was written a number of years ago and given to my Dad as a gift for Father's Day)

Things My Father Taught Me

That you can hit the snooze button as many times as you like, but eventually you will have to get up and greet the day.

That a great way to get a sleepy teenager from hitting the snooze button again is to put your ice-cold, just-cleaned-the-pool-filter hands on her neck.

That you should never judge a book by its cover, it may just be the best book you ever read.

That a dad can always tell how the dent in the car got there, no matter how much his teenage daughter sticks to her story.

That the saying, "This will hurt me a lot more than you" is true even when it precedes a spanking.

That you are never too old to have a teddy bear.

That one man's junk is Dad's fortune.

That the cows will always know when the electric fence is down, and it is always when dad is out of town on business.

That the tractor should never be driven by a girl who doesn't know which pedal is the gas and which is the brake.

That the early bird gets the worm, and worms are good protein.

That you can never give your dad too many socks or Old Spice cologne sets.

That a dish towel left near the lit burner will catch fire 99 percent of the time.

That it is better to give than receive, especially when it is a well-deserved spanking.

That daughters should always listen to the wisdom of their fathers.

That little girls grow up into big girls but they will always need their Daddies.

Daddy's girls

Happy Father's Day!