Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The 11th Commandment: Be Not Forgetful


I'm finding that since I turned 40 (not so long ago), that I have been forgetting things more frequently. People joke about early onset dementia but it's really not that funny when you have to call your cell phone at least five times a day to find it, and that's on a good day......

Lord help me if I ever change the ring tone to vibrate.

I have to beep my car to find it. I'm sure after the first statement that doesn't even surprise you. It's great when I bring the Tahoe because it has that handy feature. I push a button on the remote and I hear three little beeps. I just start walking in that direction until I find the car.

However its not so great when I drive the minivan which doesn't have that feature. Oh don't mind me, I'm just walking around the parking lot to get a little exercise. The mall can really be a dangerous black hole for my car. I've been convinced in the past that my car was stolen and then reparked. Those crazy car thieves. Sorry for wasting your time, Officer.

Then there's the keys. Always. losing. my. keys. You would think that I would devise a system or something like always hanging them on a hook or always putting them in the same pocket but no, that would be way too convenient. Instead, I usually drop them in my purse where they inevitably wind up at the bottom which results in me having to dump the entire contents out to find them. It's even more fun when I have to remember what I was wearing the last time I drove the car and then check the pockets of all the pants and coats.

If I head out to the store without a list, I can be sure to forget something I went specifically to get. So I will go down every aisle and look at everything to jog my memory. Usually I still get home without that one something.

Many times I will go to a certain store because I have a coupon. I love saving money, who doesn't? I wouldn't shop in this store normally except for this here coupon. Now where is it again? I'm sure I put it in my purse. It was right here a minute ago. Darn. By the time I find it, it has expired.

I walk into a room for something and then stand there, forgetting what it was I was after. I go back downstairs and then I remember. I meant to go back down the stairs, I'm just getting a little exercise.

I really love it when I put the video rentals in the car so that I will take them back to the store. Except I keep driving past the store and forget to stop and return them.

I forget people's names, even when I was just introduced five minutes ago. It is really embarrassing to try to introduce your old friend to a new friend especially if you forget BOTH their names.

If I could see inside my head, I'm afraid of what I might find. It might look a little like my desk, with papers everywhere and stuff sticking out of the drawers. I'm sure that if I could just rearrange a few things maybe I'd have more room for the important stuff.

But I can tell you the telephone number of the house I lived in when I was in kindergarten. I can remember the words to just about every 80's song. I can even tell you how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

Just don't ask me what that string is on my finger for.

2 comments:

Moody said...

My dad uses his panic button on his car keys to find his car! I rely on my teenager to remember where we park--it's a bit more subtle. And I'm like you, I have lots of random stuff from years ago that I don't need to remember, (like my high school boyfriend's driver license number)but the things I need to remember now somehow get lost.

Margaret in Minnesota said...

It takes three licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop!

Oh, the useless stuff I've got saved in my brain. More's the pity for that, as I just payed $20.00 in overdue library book fees this afternoon. :)